Scripts
From Institute of Intermedia
Episode 1 (authors: )
Characters: Charlie, Oscar, voice of Ms Caraskanos
Props: rat, insecticide spray, intercom, window
INT. THE APARTMENT. DAY
We see an almost empty apartment room, a
medium-sized living room. There is an entrance
door to the left and a closet for shoes and
jackets to the right. There are also doors leading
to a bathroom and a bedroom. A little kitchenette
can be seen on the right side next to a window.
The flat is just partially furnished so we realize
it has been empty for quite some time. The window
is clearly wide open.
The entrance door to the apartment opens and a man
enters the room. The 42-year-old man, OSCAR, has
worked in the real-estate business for many years.
He looks neat without being overdressed or looking
too formal. Right behind him enters CHARLIE, a
26-year-old man who is new to the real estate work.
He looks nothing like Oscar; wearing a formal suit
and tie with sleek hair and a rather uncomfortable
posture.
CHARLIE, as the proper young man he is, closes the
door carefully behind them.
CHARLIE
So... this is it!
Oscar is smelling the place an he doesn't pay
attention to Charlie.
OSCAR
What is it?
CHARLIE
This is the apartment. (taking a deep
breath) I think... something smells bad.
OSCAR
(Sarcastically)
Yes... thanks for the heads up.
Oscar begins looking for the source of the smell.
Charlie is close to the window trying to breath.
CHARLIE
Does it always smell like this? No
wonder is been over a year that you've
been trying to sell the place. Smells
like rotten eggs...
OSCAR
More like the whole chicken died. Close
the window! it has never smell this bad.
Probably there's a neighbor cooking
something.
Charlie closes the window. Oscars sits on a chair.
CHARLIE
Well!... We should do something right?
the client is going to be here soon.
OSCAR
I know... I know... I'm working on it.
Charlie gets desperate and stats pacing around the
room.
OSCAR
I'm sure it will be fine. The client is
old, right? We'll just pretend nothing
is wrong.
CHARLIE
Do you think she's not going to realize
the place smells like rotten eggs?
OSCAR
How well can a hundred year old smell
anyway, right? She'll probably believe
she's senile or something.
CHARLIE
oh! this is horrible! if we don't sell
this apartment, Mr Burrows is never
going to hire me.
Oscar stands up with a plan.
OSCAR
And what do you think he's going to do
to me? He's actually my boss already. He
can just fire me! The smell is getting worse.
Open the window!
Charlie goes to open the window and starts
following Oscar while he goes to the door opens
it, and moves it around to ventilate.
CHARLIE
We HAVE TO SELL THIS TODAY! WE HAVE TO!
Charlie starts checking the place to see if
there's a reason for the smell. Oscar keeps moving
the door incoherently.
CHARLIE
I have to give a good impression to Mr.
Burrows. Maybe i can explain everything.
OSCAR
He won't here you kid, trust me. I'll
fix this.
CHARLIE
how?
OSCAR
Just... give me some time...I'm working
on it!
Oscar takes Charlie's bag from the couch and takes
out a cologne.
CHARLIE
(To himself)
He's a good boss. He'll understand.
OSCAR
He's not your boss yet!
He starts spraying the cologne across the room.
CHARLIE
What are you doing?
OSCAR
Hiding the smell. Look, Charlie, you're
just an intern, but learn this.. If you really
want to impress people at the agency,
the only thing you need to do is sell
the apartment.
CHARLIE
And for that.. we need to impress the
client right, sir?
OSCAR
(Very proud of himself)
Exactly! By the way... the suit is too
much.
CHARLIE
You think so, really? but the cologne is
ok?
OSCAR
Don't be stupid... with this, she's
going to be reminded of the good old
days she when lived young and careless.
CHARLIE
I think it says: honest and trustworthy.
OSCAR
It says trying too hard.
CHARLIE
I would totally buy this apartment from
me.
OSCAR
(Exited!)
She's going to be reminded of sex,
passion, love!
Charlie is thinking about what Oscar just said,
but Oscar suddenly starts to smell at it
disgustingly.
OSCAR (CON'T)
Oh god... she's going to be reminded of
sex, passion, love!!!
CHARLIE
What? What's the problem?
OSCAR
What do you mean what's the problem?
CHARLIE
Oh my god! do you think she's going to
freak out with the odor of rotten eggs
and men's cologne?
OSCAR
I don't think that's what old ladies
like to find in the place they buy to
die comfortably in.
CHARLIE
We have to do something!
OSCAR
What do you think I'm doing? I'm
working on it!
Oscar beguines looking for the thing producing the
smell behind the closet. Charlie move the air,
acting really crazy and then decides to start
looking for the source of the smell in the
kitchenette compartments.
CHARLIE
Do you think that if she dies here, the
place is going to be much harder to sell
afterwards?
OSCAR
Double commission! Wouldn't hurt. but...
Lets focus in selling it, today.
Charlie finds a spray aromatizer (air freshener)
and runs over to Oscar to show it to him.
CHARLIE
i got it! i got it!
OSCAR
What?
Oscar doesn't really believes in Charlie so he
continues to look for the smell origin.
CHARLIE
It's an air freshener! My mom gave me
one of this for the bathroom! It takes
out the smells!
OSCAR
Are you sure?
In this precise moment Charlie has gone over the
spray, shake it and starts spaying it across the
room, when Oscar stands up and some of spray gets
in his face.
Oscar stars screaming and covering his eyes and
face. Charlie is panicking and he sees clearly the
label and puts a shock face in the moment that
Oscar says:
OSCAR
That's insecticide, you stupid intern!
Charlie starts following Oscar trough the room,
and blowing air onto him. Oscar gives him a sign
to back off so he starts to blow air across the
room, he's really nervous.
Oscar goes to the kitchenette and starts putting
water onto he's face. Charlie moves around in the
same spot Oscar was before which was close to the closet
looking for the smell.
CHARLIE
I saw a towel behind the sink door! look
for it there!
OSCAR
(Sarcastically)
Ohhh great, thanks!
Oscar is finishing putting water in her face and
the intercom buzzes. Charlie completely panics and
doesn't know what to do... He looks at Oscar for
an answer but he's now looking for the towel with
his hands, still not able to open his hands.
Charlie doesn't pick up, he keeps frantically looking
for the source.
OSCAR
What tha...
Oscar starts screaming when he sees that what he
just pull out it's a dead rat... He's disgusted.
CHARLIE
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Charlie goes by to help with the rat thing. Oscar
is trying to clean his hands and his face
desperately. Somebody buzzes again.
OSCAR
(Taking some control back but still
mad)
I'll get it
Charlie doesn't know what to do with the rat and
he's holding it looking sick, all over the place.
Oscar puts the intercom on speaker. Charlie freaks
out and makes sound as if the people downstairs
were going to see the rat but Oscar ignores him.
OSCAR
Hello Mrs Cataskanos! how are you doing?
We can't hear very well what she's saying but we
see Oscar, while rubbing his eyes with the hand
that didn't touch the rat, making gestures to
Charlie to DO something about the rat situation.
OSCAR
I cant hear you very well. I asked how
were you doing today on this beautiful
day?
Charlie makes a gesture as if going to go into the
bathroom to hide the rat but Oscar replies with
his hands: no; then Charlie makes a move to put
the rat back in the kitchen but Oscar says:
OSCAR
No!
We hear Mrs Cataskanos talking, he moves closer to
the speaker to concentrate and ignores Charlie.
OSCAR (CON'T)
No! Is going to be my pleasure to meet
you!
Charlie doesn't know what else to do. He hears the
buzz that Oscar open the door for them and he
trows the rat out of the window.
A second later, we hear over the intercom a
woman's frantic scream.
CHARLIE
You didn't open to them?
OSCAR
Wait, where did you do with the rat?
Charlie looks very ashamed at the window and then
at Oscar. Oscar looks at the window, both of them
stare at the intercom while we hear the screaming
going away and the clients leaving...
OSCAR
Ms Caraskanos?
Episode 2 (Eliot Routh, Veno Musinovic, Andre Melo)
Characters: Charlie, Oscar, half naked French girl, family of 4 (Mr. Scott and wife in kilts + their 2 children)
Props:wrench, sink, water spraying, british memorabilia, box of british memorabilia
1. INT. APARTMENT - MORNING
OSCAR is working in the flat, which is completely covered and filled with ENGLISH MEMORIBILIA (teacups emblazoned with the English flag, posters of Big Ben, flags, etc.) The door to the bedroom slowly opens. Out comes CHARLIE, looking slightly groggy. He is dressed only in boxers and a tee-shirt. Noticing Oscar, who is turned away from him, Charlie looks at a CLOCK on the wall. His eyes widen and his jaw drops.
CHARLIE Oh my god...that can't be right!
OSCAR (without turning around) It’s either not right, or they changed your working time… He turns to see Charlie
OSCAR (CONT'D) ...and dress code! I didn’t like your suit, but isn’t this a bit of a drastic change?
CHARLIE I didn’t change anything, I, uh, lost the keys to my house last night, so I had to stay here.
OSCAR Mr. Responsible lost his keys?! Wow, you’re suspiring me each moment.
CHARLIE I didn't plan to lose them! And I had to do something!
OSCAR Alright, calm down! Frankly, I'm glad you're taking some risks! I'm just surprised: I mean, this just sounds like something I would do!
CHARLIE I know! That's the worst part!
OSCAR (a little offended) Listen, you want to make good on your slip-up? Go switch faucets of the hot and cold water in kitchen’s and bathroom’s pipes. Oscar hands Charlie a wrench.
CHARLIE What? Why?
OSCAR
Because, our clients either mix left and right or they can't tell cold from hot! Hopefully, they won’t know a good flat from bad one either.
CHARLIE
Except the last part, I'm still not following you.
OSCAR
The Brits are coming! Haven't you noticed the décor? And seeing as we can’t change the power outlets or driving sides here, the least we can do is fix the pipes to remind them of home! So, get to work or I'll tell the boss about your little “sleepover.” CHARLIE I'm on it! Charlie quickly goes to work beneath kitchen sink, wrench in hand. Oscar goes outside for one more box.
2. INT. APARTMENT: MORNING
Suddenly, out from the bedroom stumbles the GIRL whom Charlie had brought back with him the previous night. She is wearing a tank top and sweatpants, hair disheveled, and looking very hungover. She takes a few shaky steps, and then collapses. Charlie jumps at the sound.
CHARLIE Oh crap! Panicking, he grabs the girl and drags her into the CLOSET. As the door to the flat opens and Oscar comes back in with another box of English goods, Charlie runs back to work on the sink. Oscar goes to look for thumbtacks for posters in the closet. Noticing the girl, he closes the door and goes to Charlie.
OSCAR If I’m not interrupting you, can I ask what this young lady is doing here?
CHARLIE What lady? Oscar goes to closet to show him, but Charlie rushes in front of it to prevent Oscar from opening the door.
CHARLIE (CONT'D) Oh…you mean the…the one in the closet? He breaks down, hugging Oscar's leg.
CHARLIE (CONT'D) I admit it! I met her at a bar nearby. But I couldn't take her home! What would my mother say?
OSCAR
I don’t care… Wait—you’re living with your MOM???
CHARLIE …Yes!? So what? But the thing is I haven’t, exactly, lost the keys, but…
OSCAR …but, you found a poor little girl your mother wouldn’t allow keeping in house. So what? Good for you—she's hot! But, the story ends like this: she's got to get out of here this moment!
3. INT. APARTMENT: MORNING
The two open the closet and grab the Girl, lifting her up to drag her out.
CHARLIE (While carrying her) Of course! But you've got to believe me, Oscar, I was sure we could get out on time in the morning! PLEASE don't tell the boss on me!
OSCAR OK, OK. It will remain between us. We can say you’re living with friends or anyone, but not your mom.
CHARLIE
No, I was talking about the girl!
OSCAR
Yeah, we can say you are living with her. But I’m doing this only because I like you.
As they work their way to the door, the BUZZER rings. Oscar answers.
OSCAR
(Merrily) Yes? Oh, please come in. We’re on the fifth floor. Take your time! You can go up on whatever side of stairs you wish!(To Charlie) Quick to the door.
CHARLIE Wait, what will the clients think when they see some passed-out, half-naked, girl in the hall?
OSCAR Well, if she looks this good… The pipes in the Kitchenette sink begin to leak, spraying water.
CHARLIE
Stop fooling around! Be serious for second!
OSCAR (CONT'D) Hm, I know! We'll say she's your sister! Pour some water on her to wake her up.
CHARLIE
I can't get any water, I still have to fix the...(turns to look at the running water)PIPES!
4. INT. APARTMENT: MORNING
Water is spraying everywhere. Charlie drops his end of the girl to grab the wrench. Hitting the ground, the Girl wakes up. She looks around, and, seeing all of the English Paraphernalia, begins to shout angrily (in French) and attempts to break free from Oscar.
OSCAR Perfect! A crazy sister that speaks only French! Or yells, rather. No wonder you mother wouldn’t allow her in.
CHARLIE You leave my mother out of this!
OSCAR Don’t worry there isn't even enough space for three of us.(Talks to girl very slowly)Listen, you… shut up! This… Charlie! You… his sister! (She won't keep silent.)
CHARLIE It's no use!
OSCAR Well, back to closet with her!
Charlie runs to help Oscar stuff the Girl in the closet, locking the door.
Charlie goes back and shuts off the water, which has left a big wet spot on the ground.
CHARLIE Great! And what are we supposed to do with this puddle in the middle of the floor?
OSCAR
We can say the water is to remind them of their weather… (They look at each other) Aren't the English supposed to have an odd sense of humor anyway?
CHARLIE But I don’t think they will find French rage from the closet that funny.
5. INT. APARTMENT: MORNING
Oscar gets a RADIO out of the box and turns CD on. It begins to loudly play “Rule Britainia” or something similarly patriotic. We can still here the screaming.
OSCAR What rage? I don't hear any rage!
CHARLIE This is a nightmare!
OSCAR
If we get lucky, they will be so astonished with our effort and English props that they won't notice a few irregularities.
CHARLIE
If we get lucky, they will buy the flat without even entering.
The doorbell rings. Oscar opens the door. Oscar and Charlie are unpleasantly surprised and disappointedly gaze at guests on doorsteps. Raging half naked French girl breaks out of the closet. Loud music still plays.
CHARLIE
(more to himself)
Well, they're astonished, no doubt about that.
The CLIENTS enter. Mr. SCOTT wears a kilt, and his WIFE a matching skirt. Their two CHILDREN are wearing Glasgow Rangers football jerseys. They all look disgusted at what they see.
MR. SCOTT Ach! Ahay there! This better not be the flat on sale, is it?
THE END
Episode 3 (Liva, Fiona, Gabriel)
Characters: Charlie, Oscar, neighbour, boss,
Props: exploding coffee pot, coffee grounds on wall ad in hands, cell phones, paint brush and white paint, broken plates, cement, keys
1.INT. APARTMENT. KITCHEN-LIVING ROOM. DAY.
It’s 10 am in the morning. The living room is combined with a kitchenette. In the kitchen-corner there is a gas-stove. At the background we see little round table and a coach with blue jeans lying on it.
OSKAR (42, dressed in a white T-shirt and boxer-shorts) is standing in front of the gas-stove with his back towards the camera. He is making coffee on an Italian espresso-machine singing „O sole mio” enthusiastically. At this moment CHARLIE (28, dressed in a black expensive suit and a purple tie) enters the apartment, talking on his cell phone. He looks at Oskar surprisingly.
CHARLIE (Talking to the phone) In two days?! Well... Sure. OK. Well... Yeah. No problem... OK! (he looks at the phone) Hello?
Oskar looks at Charlie and starts to sing louder exaggerating the melody and words with a large welcoming smile in his face.
CHARLIE (CONT’D) (whispers to Oskar, holding his palm over the phone) Shut up! Then he turns back to his phone
CHARLIE (CONT’D) (speaking into the phone) I beg you pardon, Sir. Yes, I turned the radio down. No more loud music at the background when talking to you. Yeah... I get it. Oskar is laughing. Charlie puts his finger in the ear.
CHARLIE (CONT’D) Yes... Yes, I know it is serious. We will do our very best... Yes! I understand. You want it sold, who wouldn’t? Yeah. Talk to you soon. Charlie puts down the phone.
CHARLIE (CONT’D) Are you nuts?! You belong in an institution, why aren’t you dressed? Oskar looks at Charlie with a smile.
OSKAR (Pointing to his boxer-shorts) Oh... The whole pants-less thing? I spilled coffee on my them. I am making another one for both of us. Charlie throws his cellphone angrily on the couch, takes Oskar’s jeans and throws them to him.
CHARLIE Get dressed! And don’t sing your horrifying songs while I am having a serious conversation with our boss. It’s getting really serious.
OSKAR Serious like how? Oskar is jumping on one leg trying to put on his jeans. A giant coffee stain is right in the front of the jeans.
CHARLIE (nervously walks around) We must sell it! We must! Do you understand? Do something! Or we get canned! Oskar starts to clean the jeans with a wet washing cloth with makes the stain in front of the jeans bigger. Charlie gives him a disapproving look.
OSKAR I am the bad guy. Right. Just take a look at these nice white walls? Who painted them for four days in a row without seeing a daylight?
CHARLIE Why wouldn’t you see daylight in the day?
OSKAR Stop de-constructing my words.
CHARLIE Stop being a slob!
OSKAR I am working on it! Charlie and Oskar stop and stare at each other.
OSKAR Stop calling me names! And...
CHARLIE
(interrupting Oskar) The client will be here any minute.
OSKAR And the same bad guy is also making a coffee. For both of us. Suddenly there is a loud sudden “bang” heard - the Italian coffee machine explodes making the wall in front covered with a coffee grounds as well as Oskar’s face and T-shirt.
NEIGHBOR (V.B) Hey guys! The men (30, dressed in a red shirt, jeans and sneakers) puts his arm on Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie and Oskar turn around being surprised of the sudden guest. Charlie jumps towards the neighbor and enthusiastically shakes his hand. Oskar takes the white paint jar and a brush and nervously starts to paint over the coffee stains.
CHARLIE (still shaking neighbor’s hand) Oh... oh... Welcome! Oskar stops painting. With the brush in his hands he is approaching the neighbor as the white paint is dripping on the floor.
OSKAR (about the wall) I am working on it
NEIGHBOR I came to…
OSKAR (interrupting, shaking neighbor’s hand) Welcome! Welcome!. …Make yourself at home. Charlie gives a condemning look to Oskar.
OSKAR (CONT’D) I mean... welcome! I-
CHARLIE (Interrupting Oskar) Nice to meet you! So this is THE apartment. (he takes the neighbor under the arm) Let me show you around! Charlie is walking a little in front of the neighbor showing every angle of the apartment and all the time talking without letting the neighbor have any word. Finally they stand in front of the gas stove
CHARLIE (CONT’D) You know... This is something - my colleague, yeah, I mean... how can I put it into words...
OSKAR (interrupting Charlie) Are you talking about me? I can talk about me.
NEIGHBOUR What’s up with the wall?
CHARLIE (ignoring Oskar decisively pointing at the wall) Oh, I mean, this is THE most modern art we’re facing here! The wall art! Modern, huh? He is waiting for the neighbor to give some feedback, but the neighbor is keeping quiet.
CHARLIE (CONT’D) When the coffee stains dry out - it leaves a really nice texture and the smell of coffee gives a really cozy atmosphere.
NEIGHBOR (noding agreeably with his head) Coffee atmosphere... Cozy coffee... I dig it man.
OSKAR (quietly to Charlie) I like this guy. I like him a lot. Neighbor is stearing at the wall. He smiles in satisfactionn, takes out a cigarette shows it to Charlie and Oskar.
NEIGHBOR (CONT’D) Can I? Charlie and Oskar looks at each other hoping the other one will first say “no”.
OSKAR N-
CHARLIE Yes, of course! Neighbor lights his cigarette while Charlie behind the neighbor’s back is showing to Oskar that he is going to kill Oskar if the neighbor leaves the apartment.
OSKAR (enthusiastically) So... What do you think?
NEIGHBOR I like it, but... Charlie and Oskar are both looking to the neighbor without any move, just to be sure they don’t miss anything he is going to say now.
NEIGHBOR (CONT’D) I would just like to have some improvements. Oskar and Charlie are looking even more intense to the neighbor.
CHARLIE …I’m sorry? The neighbor goes to the gas stove, takes the coffee machine. Takes out the rest of the coffee grounds and starts throwing them at the rest the walls around the apartment. Charlie and Oskar looks at him in a shock.
NEIGHBOR Don’t you like it?
OSKAR Well...
NEIGHBOR (interrupting him) Well if you don’t like it this way we can make a cheese wall!
CHARLIE What?!
NEIGHBOR A cheese wall. I saw it in an exhibit. Crowds of people were gathering around it. That was the “bam”! It is a wall with holes like cheese has! Excitedly the same holes! And afterwards you put colorful light bulbs in them. An absolute hit! The neighbor takes a look around the apartment.
NEIGHBOR (CONT’D) Do you have a hammer by chance?
CHARLIE (nervously and over-exitedly) The coffee stains look great! Let me help you! He enthusiasticly joins Neighbor to help him. Oskar hasitates for a moment, then puts his hand in the espresso machine and begins throwing more coffee grounds at the wall.
CHARLIE
Oskar!
OSKAR I’m working on it! Without any hesitation Charlie takes the espresso machine out of the neighbor’s hands and starts throwing the coffee grounds all over the place. Oskar then takes the white paint jar and splashes the paint all over the apartment’s walls. Charlie’s and Oskar’s clothes are covered all over with coffee and white paint. The neighbor looks at Charlie and Oskar who suddenly has become so involved and enthusiastic. The neigbor gets more passionate - he grabs the plate from kitchen table and throws it down to the floor. Oskar and Charlie stops and look back and forth on the neighbor and the pieces of glass on the floor
OSKAR (CONT’D) (to the neighbor about the plate) I like it.
CHARLIE (about the plate) It’s for the luck!
OSKAR Yeah (he turns to the Charlie) Sure!
CHARLIE (under his breath) He’s the one.
2.INT. APARTMENT. KITCHEN-LIVING ROOM. DAY.
Oskar is standing at the wall facing a square of cement in the wall (the cement was left over from previous repair works in the flat). Oskar is sticking little pieces of the plate into the cement. He is sticking the glass pieces from the broken plate into the cement. The Neighbor standing in a distance watches and Oskar’s work. From a distance it is seen that Oskar is about to finish a question mark.
NEIGHBOR To be or not to be? (he points his finger up in the air, very seriously) That’s the question! Charlie finishes washing the third coffee cup as he is looking at the question mark. He goes and stands next to the neighbor, hoping that from the distance it looks more promising. Oskar stares mindlessly at his work of art.
OSKAR (proudly) I am working on it! He returns back to the wall to finish the question mark
NEIGHBOR (to Charlie) To buy or not to buy the apartment! This sign will force the clients TO THINK - to make their choice about the apartment straight away! Oskar has finished the question mark. He joins Charlie and the neighbor. He is happy and proud of his work. The neighbor is approaching the question mark
NEIGHBOUR Isn’t it wonderful?! Oskar smiles at Charlie with a primacy of consciousness. The neighbor looks at all the apartment
NEIGHBOR All done! It’s so much better! I cannot believe my eyes! Oskar and Charlie nods and smiles at the neighbor with satisfaction that everything is done and waits for him to say something about his decision about the flat.
NEIGHBOR (confused) …What?
CHARLIE (to the neighbor) So... Gesturing to the neighbor to continue
NEIGHBOR Well... Now...I think I can go. He shakes Charlie’s and Oskar’s hands, walks outside of the kitchen, then turns around.
NERIGBOR I live at the next door. If you need any help or assistance in a future, I will be more then happy to help you! And by the way... that big “bang” really scared me out!
CHARLIE Wha...You mean... you are not buying the place?
NEIGHBOR (laughing) Me? No, no. (enthusiasticly) Oh, I can not even express how good it feels to help spruce up the place a bit, appeal to a younger crowd! The neighbor giggles and leaves the apartment. Oskar and Charlie stand in a shock as they hear door slamming after the neighbor leaving. They don’t want to look at each other, they feel awful and shamed. When their look finally meets - they recoil. To avoid the awkward silence Charlie takes off his expensive suit which is all covered in paint and tries to scratch some of the paint off. Oskar is walking back and forth with his hands placed at the back of his head singing ‘’O sole mio” quietly.
CHARLIE Stop it! There sound of key pelting is heard. Someone is trying to unlock the apartment door. Charlie and Oskar agitatedly looks at each other. Charlie immediately puts his suit back on. Approaching steps are heard. Oskar and Charlie eyes goggles - they frown around the apartment without any move. A big man in a white suit slowly comes in a living room with apartment keys in his hands. It is their BOSS (50). He is pelting the keys in his hands being in total chock of what he sees. The apartment is total mess, the paint is stinking and Charlie and Oskar look terrible - all covered in paint from head to toes.
CHARLIE (CONT’D) (to the boss)...Hello!
OSKAR ...Hi! He trows a quick glance at the question mark at the wall trying to hide it taking a few steps to Charlie’s side as that would make the situation any better. Oskar ends up stepping on Charlie’s feet who hasn’t moved at all since the boss came in.
BOSS What is it?
CHARLIE (to the boss about the Oskar’s movements, unsafely) I don’t know what he is doing.
BOSS (in a loud voice) I said what IS IT?
OSKAR A question mark?
BOSS (angry) YES! THERE IS A QUESTION MARK AT THE END. IT IS A QUESTION!
OSKAR/CHARLIE We... It... Oscar and Charlie nervously look at each other, letting the other speak first which turns into an awkward silence.
BOSS Don’t bother answering. You two are finished! Fired. He carefully watching his steps walks out of the kitchen. The apartment door slams and the handle of the door falls off. A coffee bounced off the floor. Oskar and Charlie are standing totally speechless despairingly looking at each other.
THE END
Episode 4 (authors: )
Characters: Charlie, Oscar, cowboy w/harmonica, paramedics,
Props: question mark on wall, cellphone, bag of peanuts, pink & yellow rubber gloves and cleaning materials, harmonica
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 1
CHARLIE (28) sits with his back against the couch on the floor of an apartment living room. The apartment is scarcely furnished and there is a kitchenette in the corner. The apartment contains only two tables and a couch. The walls are very plain except for one of the walls that contains a hug coffee colored question mark. There is a table beside the couch, that contains a lamp, and another in front of the couch and charlie. On that table is a single bag of peanuts, in which Charlie is intensely staring at. In front of the bag is a perfectly symmetrical line of peanuts. There is a question mark painted on the wall.
OSCAR (42) enters the room through the front door, whistling, holding a bucket, and a bag full of cleaning products. Oscar moves towards the kitchenette, unaffected by Charlie's demeanor and begins to prepare to clean. He takes out a pair of pink rubber gloves and shows it to Charlie, triumphant.
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 2
OSCAR (Proudly ) Check out these beauties! Oscar is on a mission to clean the apartment. He self-importantly puts the rubber gloves on.
OSCAR I have good plans for us, Charlie! Time to change! I said I'd work on it...and who delivers? Oscar turns around for Charlie to see.
OSCAR (Emotional) That's right ME!... This is the day!
CHARLIE (gloomily staring at the peanuts) This is the day. Oscar goes to Charlie and crouches.
OSCAR (Worried) You OK? 1 Charlie does not react. Slyly, Oscar reaches into his pocket
OSCAR (smiling) I've got a surprise for you. Oscar pulls out a pair of yellow rubber gloves. Charlie doesn't react, so Oscar pops the gloves at Charlie. The gloves hits Charlie in the face; still, he doesn't react. Oscar points at the peanuts jokingly.
OSCAR Are you nuts? Charlie’s lack of reaction starts to annoy Oscar.
CHARLIE (gloomy) Not. The. Right. Time.
OSCAR (irritated) You’re right, it’s time to clean this mess. Get your ass in gear little girl.
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 3
Oscar throws the peanuts from the table away and Charlie instantly replaces them. There is an awkward silence. Oscar tests Charlie by taking one peanut at a time.
OSCAR What ARE you doing?
CHARLIE (Interrupting, shaking his head) Peanuts, Just Peanuts! Life. It's a pain. In the. Ass. Oscar feels some pain in the stomach, and clings to the belly.
CHARLIE (With each complaint he places a peanut on the table) Patricia... Left me
OSCAR (Cringe in pain. Jokingly) Tough cookies kid... My indigestion 2 has come back with a vengeance. Get that... and your little girly problems will falter in comparison.
CHARLIE (CONT'D.) My mother...I failed her.
OSCAR (CONT'D) When it gets really bad, I can hear a HARMONICA in there. God only knows the secrets of my guts. (Laugh with some pain)
CHARLIE Bills.(one peanut) Loads of bills (handful of peanuts) And now ... Job gone. I've devoted my youth to this palace and Now, I don't even know why I'm doing it anymore.
OSCAR Cheer up kiddo, the job is ALMOST gone. Remember what the boss said; this is our last chance. So, lets get a move on it or this time we will lose the job for real!
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 4
Oscar moves to get up, but is stopped by Charlie's voice.
CHARLIE Oscar, It's been a pleasure, but today, I end my life. Oscar casually picks a few peanuts and eats.
OSCAR Yea? How are you going to do that?
CHARLIE (resolute) PEANUTS!
OSCAR Just Peanuts? Charlie remains serious. Oscar stops eating, fearing there might be poison in them. Charlie picks up one peanut and holds it in front of his face. He salutes Oscar with it and places it in his mouth.
CHARLIE Goodbye. Oscar looks confused and in anticipation at Charlie, but nothing happens. Charlie frowns.
CHARLIE (CONT'D) Mother told me that I'm deathly allergic to peanuts, but I'm not sure how many it will take.
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 5
Charlie grabs a huge handful of peanuts and begins eating them one after the other in quick succession.
OSCAR Stop! Charlie Stop it! Oscar slaps Charlie. Charlie looks at him, startled. Charlie begins to pour the bag of peanuts in his mouth. Oscar grabs the bag and runs to the window to throw it out. When trying to open the window, the handle breaks off and stays in his hand. Oscar starts to stuff some of the peanuts in his mouth, but turns around to see a smug Charlie opening another bag of peanuts. Oscar runs over to Charlie and grabs the bag of peanuts and tries to throw both down the sink, but the water won't work. He turns around to see Charlie with another bag. Oscar throws himself onto Charlie to try and wrestle the bag from Charlie. They reach a headlock, neither can win over the other. Oscar reaches for his cell phone. It is just out of arms reach, but he manages to grab it. He calls the paramedics.
OSCAR ( On the telephone) We have an emergency here! There is a kid here having an allergic reaction...No, 28... Male...Charles Briggs... peanuts...No, but he ate A LOT of them. Well yea, I'm working on it. Charlie has reached for his cell at the same time and he is calling his mother.
CHARLIE MOM! Dad? Where's mom? Oh, when she comes back can you tell her goodbye! I give up! I did it. WAIT! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE LET ME FINISH! I ate the peanuts! I won't live much longer. Tell Mom I love her (Silence) Pine nuts? What do you mean I'm allergic to PINE NUTS?
OSCAR There is a key under the plant. Please come straight away. Yes, a red, clay pot.
CHARLIE (Incredulous) I'm not dying. Pine nuts! How could I mix that up!?
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 6
They remain on the floor, out of breath, and both casually start eating the peanuts.
OSCAR So, Patricia left you?...I saw it coming. You know what your problem is.. your too easy to please... you just need to, put a little "I don't care" in your attitude and the girls will come a-flocking. oh ah... Oscar gives a dainty burp. While burping, he holds his stomach and it gives a growl. A COWBOY enters the living room. Oscar frowns.
OSCAR (Hallucination Eyes) Are you here for the apartment?
CHARLIE ( Confused ) Who are you talking to? The cowboy takes out a harmonica and starts playing. Oscar sits up, looks at the peanuts and starts gagging. He falls backwards and passes out.
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 7
The door is burst open and the PARAMEDICS come in. PARAMEDIC 1 (pointing to Oscar on the floor) Is this Charles Briggs?
CHARLIE No, I am
PARAMEDIC 1 rushes to Charlie and starts checking him. He begins to check eyes, mouth, ears, thinking Charlie is the one whose health is at stake, while Oscar is passed out behind on the floor.
CHARLIE I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine... Check him there! (pointing to Oscar) Paramedic 1 looks to Oscar and goes to him.
PARAMEDIC 2 You alright? (to Charlie) Charlie gives a nod. Reassured of Charlie's safety, Paramedic 2 begins to admire the room. He grabs a couple of peanuts and begins to snack on them while wandering.
PARAMEDIC 2 (delighted) I love those! Paramedic 1 successfully revives Oscar.
INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY SCENE 8
Oscar begins to cough and opens his eyes. Paramedic 2 admires the question mark on the wall.
PARAMEDIC 2 It's a good question. (to Charlie) You guys have a lovely place. The market is impossible these days. I would kill to find an apartment like this. How did you find this place? Oscar perkily sits back up and smiles.
OSCAR Palace Real Estate Agency. Everyone needs their own kingdom. END
